Morning Talk: Women's Leadership in the Changing World

July 31, 2009

I was invited as an MC for the a special morning talk at Sripatum University called "Morning Talk at Sripatum University." Morning Talk is actually a TV program on air for more than 16 years to viewers throughout Thailand and across the globe, covering about 170 countries through the Thai Global Network (TGN). It's a variety English TV talk show hosted by five presenters from various field of works, leading by Dr. Valerie McKenzie, who is the anchor and lead presenter of the programme. (for more information about the program go to http://www.morningtalk.tv/)

The special morning talk at Sripatum today was organized by the Office of International Relations under the lead of Mrs. Chinda Tejavanija Chang, Director of Sripatum International College and Director of International Relations Office, Sripatum University and, and with the great and professional assistance from her staff including Ajarn Vorasuang Duangchinda and Ajarn Duangdao Artsomboon. The rationale behind this project was to celebrate Her Majesty Queen Sirikit's birthday and to commemorate Mother's Day of Thailand (Aug 12, 2009). This project was set to advance knowledge and skill of Thai women, and unite them for the future of Thailand, to make sure that women is equally recognized as men, to promote beautiful culture and tradition of being real Thai female and to elevate level of working capacity for Thai women.

As a novice in my teaching profession, I was so very blessed to be able to not just listen but to learn how to become successful. I guess these days, how to make women leadership visible is out of question; instead, how to retain the leadership and earn respect from men in the professional world are to focus! From listening to four leading and powerful women from public sector to media and educational sectors, I truly learned a whole lot and would like to share with others as well.

Khun Chantra Purnariksha, Secretary-General of Office of Insurance Commission, emphasised that we, as women, should always act like a lady yet be tough to ourselves in making things better and proving our leadership. She also stated that a good female should be open-minded and the most important thing is "No one is better than others, we should work as a team" and the other thing is "work hard, study hard and dedicate to the work you do."

The second speaker was Dr. Valerie MeKenzie, Top female executive at the International level, and Host of "Morning Talk" TV program, suggested some remarkable points of what make women become successful. She stated that women should be determined, be what they are and be sincere of who they are, be honest, open, understand and look beyond where they could be, believe in themselves, and, particularly for Thais, they shouldn't lose their nationality and the good traits that they have as Thai women.

The third speaker was Dr. Junya Pookayaporn, Assitant of the President of Sripatum University, and Leader in University Social Responsibility (USR). She coined down the word obtacles of being a leading woman as "challenges." She concentrated on positive thinking and compassion. Woman and us all should give compassion to ourselves and to others.

Great Passage and Thought which I cannot agree more and so wanted to share with others!!!

July 11

The more we have the less we own.
– Meister Eckhart


We have been ruthlessly conditioned to think we can find fulfillment in possessions, to love things rather than people – so much so, that when we feel an emptiness in our hearts, we go to shopping centers to fill it up.

I am all for living in reasonable comfort, but when I go to shopping centers, I cannot help getting alarmed. Not at the money that is being wasted – there is enough money in this country to waste. But there isn’t enough will to waste. There isn’t enough energy to waste. When we hear of the energy crisis, this is it. All our vitality, energy, and drive is sapped and undermined by the constant propaganda: go after this, go after that, and you’ll be happy. Things are not meant to be loved. They are meant only to be used. People are lovable and loving.

English Camp for High School No. 2--Fun Activities!

Imagination plays a great deal in learning

Great learning, understanding and acquiring new knowledge (in all subject matters), to me, come from unlimited and broad imagination. Without great imagination, children won’t be able to learn, to grow and to change. In the conversation between Scott and Jane Goodall, an internationally renowned primatologist and the world’s foremost authority on chimpanzees, they mentioned about suffering (dukkha in Buddhism) in two elements: one is that we want escape things that make us unhappy, thinks that cause pain. The other one is our longing to be aligned with something greater than we are right now. This second thing is very important for us to recognize. Thus, the important thing is if you don’t strive to find it then life seems to lack meaning. Jane stated that our life is a series of attempts to get higher ad higher toward the goal, we can’t cope by ourselves. There is a real longing in people to reach up to this higher state of being. Yet, children these days seem to lack—connection with everyone else. Children in the West have so many things, from video games to cell phones, and yet they have a lot of loneliness and sense of anxiety. Children used to play and laugh and have fun and being creative, and they have a sense of connection with everyone else. We, as adults, seem to take all these things away from them. We are going to tell them they need a video game to be happy. Once children have grown up with the video games and the violent movies, it is very difficult to change their mind stream. Therefore, they need to be instilled the goodness or plant the seeds for goodness and peace—more meaningful and imaginative

Goodall stated about the state of togetherness and the tools for change that we needed to break down the artificial barriers we’ve created between the rich and the poor, between countries, between cultures, between religions, between ethnic groups, between countries, between old and young very often, and between humans and animals. If you imagine that I give you a seed and you take it to Tibet and you plant it, well, it will grow in Tibet only if it’s nurtured by the Tibetan people. And when the fruits come, they’ll be the Tibetans’ fruits. I can take a seed and plant it in Congo and the same will be true. When all these fruits and leaves blossom out there they will be something we all made together.” The Future of Peace,Page 325

The law of Dharma and the Learning of a second/foreign language...some connection there!?

After the read on The Future of Peace, I could not help but quesioned myself of the connection between the teaching of the Buddha and teaching English as a second or foreign language. During the discussion between Scott Hunt and Maha Ghosananda (known as The Ghandhi of Cambodia), Maha Ghosananda stated, “If you look down upon people, are very proud and haughty, your mind will become ignorant. If you are respect everybody, because the whole world is your house and all human beings are your mother. Then you will become very wise. You must have su, chi, po, li. Su means to listen, chi means to think, pu means to question, and li means to record. To listen, to think, to question, and to record, these make you become very wise. If you don’t have them you become ignorant. That is the law of dharma.” (The Future of Peace, p.175)

Dealing with Difficult People--extra seminar activity for university students

This seminar was initiated and aimed to help students with their lives after graduation, particularly to be aware of behaviors, what kind of people they are, and learn the "soft skills" through the teaching of Buddha . After spending and teaching them for three months, I found that they did not have any aim in their lives and did not know what to expect and how to deal with lives and negotiation at work. Thus, I kindly invited Dr. Janya Pookkayaporn, an expert in coaching and how to deal with difficult people, to give a special lecture on the topic of "How to Deal with Life and Negotiation after Graduation in the Midst of Economic Crisis"

Topics of discussion:
-Happiness at work
-Not Friendly Behaviors
-Dealing with Difficult People

What Gandhi can teach you about happiness at work?
So many of Gandhi’s teachings and life stories can be applied to our own lives and can help us find meaning and strength. Gandhi endured a lot of hardships and if we study those hardships we can derive the same truth from them that he did.

1. Making mistakes
“Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.” - Gandhi
2. Understanding
“Hate the sin, love the sinner.” - Gandhi
3. Arrogance
“It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.” – Gandhi
4. Forgiveness
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Gandhi
5. Becoming a leader
“You must be the change you want to see in the world.” - Gandhi
6. Grudges
“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” – Gandhi
7. Being truthful
“A ‘No’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘Yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.” - Gandhi
8. Peace at work
“Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.” - Gandhi

กัลยาณมิตรธรรม 7 ประการ

-ปิโย = น่ารัก มิตรที่ชวนให้อยากไปปรึกษา มีความสบายใจเมื่ออยู่ใกล้
-ครุ = น่าเคารพ มิตรที่ประพฤติดี ประพฤติชอบ
-ภาวนีโย = น่าเจริญ น่ายกย่อง มิตรที่มีภูมิปัญญาแท้จริง เป็นผู้ปรับปรุงตนเองเสมอ ควรเอาอย่าง
-วตตา จ = รู้จักพูดให้ได้ผล รู้จักชี้แจงให้เข้าใจ รู้ว่าเมื่อไหร่ควรพูดอะไร และอย่างไร
-วจนกขโม = อดทนต่อถ้อยคำ มิตรที่อดทน ไม่ฉุนเฉียว ไม่นินทา ไม่วิจารณ์
-คมภีรจ กถ กตตา = อธิบายเรื่องที่ล้ำลึกได้ มิตรที่ทำให้เราเข้าใจเรื่องที่ยุ่งยากซับซ้อน
-โน จฎฐาเน นิโยชเย = ไม่ชักนำในอฐาน มิตรที่ไม่แนะนำเรื่องเหลวไหล หรือชักจูงไป ในทางเสื่อมเสีย

Not Friendly Behaviors:
-Warrior--Knows only one way to solve problems: by yelling and being aggressive.
-Unloader--Anger on a safe source. Might be angry at something else but vents anger on the person being talked to at the moment.
-Guiltmaker
-Child--Throws tantrums: yells.
-Blamer--Interested in finding fault than solving the problem. Most likely to ask to speak to a supervisor after the the problem was solved.
-Survivalist--Scared of what will happened if the problem isn’t solved. May whine and have difficulty shifting into a problem solving modes
-Parent--Patronizes, talks down to others. And uses insults. May use sarcasm.
-Pretender--Pretends not to be upset but will most likely tell friends about the university’s badservice.
-Gunny Sacker--Scared of what will happened if the problem isn’t solved. May whine and have difficulty shifting into a problem solving modes

Dealing with Difficult People:
1. Tank--Don’t counterattack or offer excuses, let them vent, hold your ground, demand respect.
2. Sniper--Call them on their sarcasm and have them explain what was really behind their comment; be honest and tell them their comment was rude and unkind
3. Grenade--Don’t show anger, let them vent, tell them you take their concerns seriously, give them a chance to cool down.
4. Whiner--Listen but don’t get drawn into their complaining; focus them on specific solutions; shift to problem-solving mode.
5. No Person --Don’t rush them or try to persuade them they are wrong; acknowledge their concerns and input.
6. Know-it-All--Acknowledge their expertise and competence, make your statements appear as if they are in agreement
7. Think-They know-It-All--Give them attention; be patient; don’t embarrass them.
8. Nothing Person--Try to draw them out; ask them specific questions without making them fell they are being attacked
9. Yes Person-- Encourage the person to be honest; make it safe for them to say no.
10. May be person--Help them learn decision-making skills; reassure them about the decisions they make; let them know it’s OK to take risks.

Feedback from students after the seminar:

"I got the knowledge about how to negotiate with other people. Somebody hard somebody easy to negotiate. I got ideas from example when Dr. Chanya said. I can solved the problem from my colleagues when I work in the future. I knew and remember about the moral of how to be a good friend. In the future in can face with other problems"-- Saowakhon Rattanarat

"I got many methods to behave or control myself follow the right way and hae learnt how to behave and stay with other in workplace or social life. When we have problems in workplace. The siminar gave me the ways or solutions to figure it out."--Suriyaporn Pariyat

Teachers are like signposts...

The Buddhas do but tell the way, it is for you to labor at the task.
– The Buddha


Eknath's thought on the Buddha's statement,

Spiritual teachers are like signposts pointing the way to immortality, but it is we who must make the journey. This is quite reasonable. After all, when we pass a signpost on the freeway, we don’t expect it to get into the driver’s seat and do the driving while we lie down in the back to take a nap. On the first half of the spiritual journey, we cannot expect other people to pick us up and carry us along. It is up to us to meditate regularly, and practice the allied disciplines.

Sri Ramakrishna says that the first part of the trip is the “way of the monkey.” The little baby monkey has to hold on for dear life while his mother swings from tree to tree. If the little one loses his grip, he’ll fall and hurt himself. But the second half is the “way of the cat.” The little kitten just sits there on the road looking cute and helpless, saying, “mew, mew, mew,” and the mother cat picks it up by the scruff of its neck and takes it to safety. It is only on the second half of the journey that we are carried by a power higher than ourselves.